Who the F$%C takes a SH&** and not flush the dam toilet. It’s not freakin hard, take a shit wipe your ass and flush the dam toilet. It is the most disgusting thing to have to witness first thing in the dam working when you want to take a piss, brush your teeth and go get breakfast. Shit is not part of a weakin up. What grown ass person does that?

I have had it up to my fuckin nick just in case you can’t tell. I share a bathroom; my roommate, her daughter and her aunt, the first time I saw shit sitting in the toilet thinking that it was my roommate’s daughter who forgot to flush the toilet. Come to find out it was the mother. Ain’t that some shit?

Remember I talked about a full house one time well the full house is close it. Now it’s my roommate, her daughter, aunt, mother and mother’s boyfriend. These are grown ass people and I have seen shit left in the toilet three fuckin times know. No it’s not like when you flush and the stain stay on the bottom type of shit. This is full on dump just sitting there waiting to be flushed away.


It must be a culture thing that is the best I can come up with. My new job location is mainly Hispanic individuals. They do the same thing they don’t flush the toilet, piss, shit is left there for the whole fucking world to see.

I personally thing that is some fucked up shit to pull up with, this is not what I had in mind at home or at work.

VIRUSE

Ok so I’ve only had this laptop for like 6 month. It’s the new HP touch screen laptop I longed for this type of device, the day I bought a touch screen cell phone knowing that it would make my days of school papers fly with flying colors because I don’t need to type. I can write on the screen and BAM! It’s all typed and the paper looks great with few minor adjustments I’m good to go! She is my baby she is my life now…

Today my roommate ask to use it, I let him since it’s not the first time. Instead he let his mom’s boyfriend; by the way the full house is getting smaller. It’s beginning to feel a bite lonely. It’s quite I mean we are loud still but not as louder and that was pretty cool everybody laugh. Any who back the point? I didn’t mind when I saw him giving it to his mom’s boyfriend; I only gave him a look and stated if anything happen it’s on him.

Not even ten minutes I get a call from downstairs. I had gone to my room at this point so back down. There she was not functioning to her full capabilities. She was slow, wouldn’t respond to her commands. At this point I am boiling because I have never had a problem like this and I don’t know where to start to make it better. As I’m fighting for the life of my laptop, they decided to leave. Leave me with what has been broken honestly is that even right? Masts up someone’s belonging and leave them worries as you go by your day. Seriously who does that? I was pretty piss off.

Ok so I’ve only had this laptop for like 6 month. It’s the new HP touch screen laptop I longed for this type of device, the day I bought a touch screen cell phone knowing that it would make my days of school papers fly with flying colors because I don’t need to type. I can write on the screen and BAM! It’s all typed and the paper looks great with few minor adjustments I’m good to go! She is my baby she is my life now…

Today my roommate ask to use it, I let him since it’s not the first time. Instead he let his mom’s boyfriend; by the way the full house is getting smaller. It’s beginning to feel a bite lonely. It’s quite I mean we are loud still but not as louder and that was pretty cool everybody laugh. Any who back the point? I didn’t mind when I saw him giving it to his mom’s boyfriend; I only gave him a look and stated if anything happen it’s on him.

Not even ten minutes I get a call from downstairs. I had gone to my room at this point so back down. There she was not functioning to her full capabilities. She was slow, wouldn’t respond to her commands. At this point I am boiling because I have never had a problem like this and I don’t know where to start to make it better. As I’m fighting for the life of my laptop, they decided to leave. Leave me with what has been broken honestly is that even right? Masts up someone’s belonging and leave them worries as you go by your day. Seriously who does that? I was pretty piss off.

"A letter to God"

I watched this movie called “A letter to God” so I wonder if we could write God a letter what will it about? Would it be like a journal telling him about our day? Will it be like writing a list to Santa? Would it be a letter of hope, forgiveness, watching over us, what will a letter to God talk about?

I don’t know per say, but this is what I will write to God about in hope for some answers.

Dear God

I’m no saint; I don’t even know what that really means without Google ling it lol. I have a lot of questions, I’m sure you’re a busy God after all; I watched Bruce Almighty, which by the way you picked a great actor to play you. Was that your decision by the way? You don’t have to answer that one since you’re so busy I need to ask serious questions. So here goes nothing. To others this might be an easy question maybe because you’ve given them the answer apparently I didn’t get that memo, so I ask again

Is one born with faith or is faith seeked throughout life as we grow? Is faith like riding a bike, because if it is I see why I did not get the memo I sure don’t know how to paddle so that sucks if that’s how you delivered your message. I’ve been told and it is said “all you need is faith and believe” truth be told that’s easily said than done let’s be frank with each other here…

I am not one to close thy eye without fear of being perished by a mad man in a dodge charger, because there running late for whatever purpose. I know… if it was meant to be then that will be my time to go great. As I’ve said before, thy fear no death for every beginning comes an end. Thy problem on the other hand is must one go through the pain and suffering lying in there death bed for the sake of faith or believe?

Let’s say for thy names sake one you walk eyes close through the path of danger and make it to the other side. There will still be some type of catastrophes; like the car which swirl around in avoidance to hit one on foot, they might either hit a tree, another car, another person I mean seriously where is the faith or belief in that?
It seems to me like in place of one’s faith or belief, another being’s life stands in question in exchange for an answer.

It’s like this movie “The Box” this move was about couples that were going through financial difficulties and where given answers to their suffering. The catch on the other hand was should they open “the box” they will receive one million dollars and someone out there will die.
Come to think about it is that how the lottery works? One family wins another family is destroyed?

If you ask me this is how I see it…supposedly there is a verse in the bible says” seek and ye shall find” is there a fine print that says there will be consequences? If that is the case, than why give me the options, choices, and ability to question things

Again let’s be real; there are reasons to why we see “yes or no, why, why not, maybe, sometimes,” we ask questions in search for an answer. I won’t give money away without knowing where it’s going, its purpose, etc.

For now this is all I have. I hope for an answer. Do you think if I put postage on it that it would be delivered somewhere or will the post office throw it away? Hhn this is so weird, writing a letter that I know for a fact it will never be deliver. I know that what I saw was just a movie, but the thing is it gets you thinking what if?

What if a lot of people are getting on their knees at the same time every night, morning, evening, seconds, hours, and minutes, do you have a hard time understand all of us at the same time. Do you forget most prayers? I think that could be a possibility, I’m just saying 28 years old and I haven’t seen anything yet.

I mean you can’t blame me for letting you go.
Honestly you left me alone for the longest. Those people did not watch over me they turned me to their little fucking slave. They turn me to whatever they pleased. At 8 years old I didn’t know any better and you should have been there for me. You should have protected me. I am the way I am today because of you. I don’t trust anyone, I don’t believe in anything or much at all because you were never there so how dare you want me to have faith without questioning your motives or purpose. How dare you think I will just drop everything supposedly just have faith. Faith doesn’t put money in my account; faith doesn’t make me sleep at night cause I sure as never sleep at night. Faith does nothing for me and I will not apologize for that.

You see this is the reason I don’t speak to you about how I feel, because I have so much pain and anger towards you I can’t put it all into words and yes I ’m crying. If you were in a form of a human standing in front of me I seriously would punch the life out of you. I will slice pieces of your body with a knife so you can feel the pains I’ve been through and every time I’ve cut myself. Every blood of mine that dripped…

I need to stop know because I’m yearning the feel of a sharp blade against my skin because the pain I’m feel is more than my heart can take and I told myself I wouldn’t do it again but right now it’s really hard.

STUPID QUESTIONS

The saying goes “there is no such thing as stupid question” wrong! So wrong it makes you want to shake the people asking questions.

At work there has been a little change to the freezer that most of the products had to be moved from the store. Therefor we were out on most products. Know seriously if you see a whole section empty why in the darn world would you ask if we have it available?

Yes we do have it I just don’t feel like putting it out because I want to be annoyed every five second by your dam questions.

For arguments sake, there is a sign that says out of work. It’s written in big words. Why in heaven would you ask me if its working? Seriously seriously! Am I just an annoyed person that doesn’t like people asking me things or is it that things are so easily simplify that stupid questions are been asked when the answer in right in front of your face.

FULL HOUSE

This is how many people that live in a four bedroom house.
Me
B with her daughter
B’s brother name J with her wife and son
B’s aunt that’s seven people

Know the aunt’s daughter and her husband come on Friday. Then on Saturday J’s wife, her family came that her mom, sister and dad.
Today, Sunday I wake up there B’s mom and her boyfriend are home too. Wow for an anti-social person this is major complication. That is a lot of people to make conversations with. So do I stay in my room all day or get out of the house?

It’s’ more difficult because my Spanish isn’t that great since all the adults don’t speak much English and my Spanish is a working progress. What to do? What to do? That is the magic question? So I sit in my room and watch twilight sagas since I’m craze about it.

Maybe I’ll write my book since I don’t want to be part of crowd.

Drunk Writer

So I have been drinking…lol no I’m drinking as we speak so if there is any typo this is how a drunk or nearby drunker writes lmfao. Any who so I have no idea why we are up how late is it anyway?

I’m in the kitchen because I slept earlier and know the eye does not want close lol. I figure I should fix my journal which by the way I had to do over, because my dum behind decided to restore my laptop to its manufacture stage without backing up the files that I needed.

It’s a good thing that I blog my journal so I was able to go back and copy everything, yet it was still a pain in my rear this was not the plan. At least there was a backup plan and it was fixable.

What I learned today is always have a backup plan save what you think is important so there won’t be any stress in upcoming life. That sounded so dum and stupid who say things like that? Any who I must go to bed I do want to wake up sober don’t I?

I WANNA BE A BILLIONAIRE (REMIX)

I wanna be a billionaire so fricking bad, take vacations to places I've never been I wanna be on the cover of playboy magazine so I can be invited to all the cool parties And every time I open my eyes I'll have all things that money can buy No need for a car, I'll be flying on my jet oh oooh I love how my jet looks

As you can see its 4:00 in the morning, I have nothing better to do right know.
So I decided to change the words to this song, maybe I should call it the remix
would that make it my original song, would it make me a billionaire oh oooh will it make a billionaire

Than I quite my stupid job, with ignorant customers, never worry about money at all
people say the more money the more problems, I think that is so stupid.
The more money you have, you should change your life style find people on the same level as you, than you won’t become their piggy bank

I wanna be a billionaire so fricking bad, take vacations to places I've never been I wanna be on the cover of playboy magazine so I can be invited to all the cool parties And every time I open my eyes I'll have all things that money can buy No need for a car, I'll be flying on my jet oh oooh I love how my jet looks

I ran out of words so this is the end, I don't want to sound stupid at all
Maybe I'll re-watch twilights eclipse, since I'm so crazy about Edward
Oh, every time I see his face, I melt like a Popsicle, dripping flavor everywhere oh oooh
I wish I was his Bella oh oooh oh oooh, then I won’t be so board oh oooh oh oooh this is truly sad

I wanna be a billionaire so fricking bad, taking vacations to places I've never been
I wanna be on the cover of playboy magazine so I can be invited to all the cool parties
And every time I open my eyes I'll have all things that money can buy
No need for a car, I'll be flying on my jet oh oooh I love how my jet looks

DO HARD THINGS

SMALL HARD THINGS…(week two of Church)

Remember I said at church we are covering four topics of “DO HARD THINGS” today is week two, covering “DO SMALLL HARD THINGS”

Can you believe that small things are actually the hardest things in life? I did not understand the first week when we were given the topics of what will be covered in the next four weeks. Today I get it. What does it mean by do SMALL HARD THINGS?

The pastor gave examples such as making your bed every morning, brushing your teeth, studying for a test, cleaning the house, cooking these are just few examples of small things; but if you have to do them every day, they became small hard things!

That is so true, as you recall on my THINGS I HATE DOING on blog topic. Making the bed, washing cloth, what is up with that? Smiling at people when all I want to do is cry or left alone. Stay home and be lazy, instead of going to work; have the perfect body by nature than to go the gym four times a week, Buying shoes everyday instead of paying bills; never growing old so I can stay home with mom where there are no responsibilities.

Being genuine daily is a small hard thing, this is a good one attention is a way of communication, and not communicating shows attention is that great or what? This is funny since I’m a blogger. He said “don’t blog about the teaching, but what the teaching did for you"This is what the teaching did for me; just like sports or school you practice to be the best in any sports you’re in, study everyday to have the best grade point average. I am going to practice every day to do genuine things daily that is the only way to become nature at it

We are always ready to point fingers when things goes wrong, or use the favorite word “ it ain’t my fault” When fail to recognize responsibilities of your own actions, you are lying to yourself not to others and that keeps you away from growing up
G ______ Toward

Selfless A______

M____ Bad
Thank you father for giving me such a wonderful week, I am grateful for all you do for me. Thank you for the wonderful people you bring into my life and for those who tempt me into temptation help me do the small hard things by saying no again and again and again
Generous toward Go

Selfless Again

My Bad

TICK TOCK...WHAT IF? (This was it)

I woke up got ready for work. I decided to have Chick-Fil-A for lunch on my way to work. Therefore, gave myself extra time to take care of personal need.

As I got close to work there it was chick-fila sign…the BIG red writing symbolizing the chicken. It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas; I was excited, as I got closer and closer.

“Welcome to Chick-Fil-A, how may I help you?” Oh the greeting so friendly…it’s like candy land. Yes I would like a number five with eight piece nuggets. “What kind of drink?” LEMONADE! They have the BEST LEMONADE, it’s to die for. “Would that be all?” yes may I please have four Polynesian sauce. If you love chick-fil-a nuggets, you haven’t had it with the best sauce on the planet. It’s so GOOD, I promise it’s orgasmic. Nothing can come between me and my nuggets with Polynesian sauce. “ok mama your total is $6.49,” as she repeat my order back to me.

I get to first window, one window away from my reward, and time is perfect. “$9.49” she said as I was handing her my card. I pulled my hand back. I’m sorry? “You have eight piece nuggets and an extra sandwich?” no I did not order a sandwich.

There tick tock began as she tried to void the order and for some reason it took her 5 minute to release that she is not the manager so she can’t void the transaction. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN WORKING HERE THAT YOU DIDN’T KNOW THAT MORON! I am looking at my watch this is not good, six minutes pass, she comes back with the manager voids the transaction. Know to my second window…NOT! The people in front of me are having a conversation with the worker through the window. ARE YOU FREAKIN’ KIDDING ME! Really! Really! They have their food can they move the dam car already it’s been ten minute, I’m still at chick-fil-a. Finally I get there the candy land was no longer brighter. Its 3:02 I’m late grab the food drove off. I reached in for a fry I felt a plastic I look. There is was as if it had eyes looking back at me…A SANDWHICH! A FREAKIN’ SANDWHICH! Seriously! It wasn’t looking like Christmas anymore, it’s more like hell, Halloween, or April fool, and this fool was unhappy. Turned around back to chick fil A. walked inside…

Hi, I order eight piece nugget meal not a sandwich and I’m running late to work.

A common sense person will take the bag and give me what I want, what I came in for in the first place. But, a stupid, annoying, brainless person will ask me 20 degree questions? “So you don’t want this? How many pieces do you want? Do you want to keep anything from this bag?” OH my F…ing word! I looked at her with a dead face and repeated myself. I ORDER EIGHT PIECE NUGGETS NOT A SANDWHICH, IS ANY OF THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND THAT I JUST WANT MY NUGGETS AND FRIES WITH POLYNESIAN SAUCE TOO DIFFECULT FOR YOU TO COMPREHEND? I’m trying to hel…I cut her off I’M LATE FOR WORK. She hands me the bag I see the box. I’m 15minute late clocking in as my manger gave me that look with a sarcastic question “what time is it Ly’Lla” and I gave the same answer I’m 15minute early you should be proud.

That isn’t until I reached in the bag and MY POLYNESIAN SAUCE WASN”T THERE!!! Am I in HELL for real? The one indulgent, I was ready to kill for I could not fulfill.

What if… this was it…the end of the word? Or I was on my death bed, and the only dying wish I had left was to have eight piece nuggets with Polynesian sauce from chick-fil-a. I will die unfulfilled. I will be stuck in limbo, because I did not accomplish my one last existence in the world. I will become the lost spirit floating around, looking for someone who see ghost to help me finish my last quest.

The one Indulgent I was willing to show up late for. The one indulgent I could have been terminated for.

I was upset and did not eat chick-fil-a after all I’ve gone through. Because nuggets is not nuggets unless you have it with Polynesian sauce, it’s like to a Mexican restaurant and they don’t have burritos, or margaritas, or going bowling and they don’t have the ball, or going to see twilight sagas and the theaters doesn’t have sits just an empty room.

It’s like working and not receiving a paycheck at the end of the week.

I died today without fulfilling my last wish that is how I will be remembered as…

MURPHY'S LAW DEFINES ME...

MY NAME IS “MURPHY’S LAW”

This name was established to identify me! “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.” I should be given the privilege to copy write this word.

I’m always in the middle of anything that you can possibly imagine that will go wrong. So I’m at work cleaning the donate class doors. In slow motion I see the lines forming as I question myself…what is that? And there a big loud noise as the class cracked in pieces they looked like snow, only in the form of class.

If I’m filling out powders, this is used to make cappuccinos and smoothes; I am one to drop all the powders on the floor. If I’m asked to mop the floor…I’m one to over fill the mop bucket and have a flood in the store.

If I have something sharp in my hand, yes somehow I end up cutting myself and the sad part our box cutters or safety proof, you cannot cut anything unless you’ve place it on something to cut. Yet my hands are always in the way.

Anything that can possible be broken I break them. Sometimes it’s things that you can’t even thing off. If a customer is upset, with their service, I am part of that problem.

Where anything can go wrong is where I am found. It’s so bad that yes when something is wrong at work, home, or anywhere that I’m around. Everyone that knows me try to locate me to see if I had anything to do with and if I am there is never a surprise on their faces.

When I was little it was so bad, that I had to use plastic plates and utensils so I won’t break anything. I couldn’t be close to the kitchen because I either burned myself or whatever I was cooking.

I should’ve been named Murphy’s Law, because that is exactly what I am. Where anything can go wrong will go wrong. Like I’d said before… I am not a magnet for accidents — that’s not a broad enough classification. I am a magnet for trouble. If there is anything dangerous within a ten-mile radius, it will invariably find me.

INSOMNIA............

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

This is the latest accepted revision, accepted on 4 August 2010.

Jump to: navigation, search

This article is about the sleeping disorder. For other uses, see Insomnia (disambiguation).

Insomnia is a symptom that can accompany several sleep, medical and psychiatric disorders, characterized by persistent difficulty falling asleep and/or difficulty staying asleep. Insomnia is typically followed by functional impairment while awake.

Both organic and non-organic insomnia without other cause constitute a sleep disorder, primary insomnia. One definition of insomnia is "difficulties initiating and/or maintaining sleep, or nonrestorative sleep, associated with impairments of daytime functioning or marked distress for more than 1 month."

According to the United States Department of Health and Human Services in the year 2007, approximately 64 million Americans regularly suffer from insomnia each year. Insomnia is 41% more common in women than in men.

I don’t sleep at night like normal people, that’s because I’m not normal. When people are out and about in day light that is when sleep catches up with me. I tend to sleep like a baby than.

My brain for whatever reason tends to run a thousand mile per hours night time and 10miles per hours day light. It’s frustrating because I never accomplish anything during the day since I sleep when opportunities knocks on the door. I try going to sleep at night it’s like me trying to fold cloth which takes hours and hours to begin lol not finish, just begin can you believe that? That is me trying to fall asleep, it takes FOREVER and before you know it, there! Bright light, chirping birds, kids crying, dogs barking you get the picture.

I can close my eyes and try but my mind wonders in its own little world. Where the grass is green and the world is freankin’ peachy. I have the perfect life and I’m have as ever my eyes could be heavy in search of sleep, but the brain…the brain is my torched chamber.

How madness is that? What is my problem? That sleep had added to my lists of disorders. What am I a walking disorder stamped right on my forehead?

Are there more disorders coming my way cause I need a thicker heart to handle all this since suicide is no longer an option as much as I would love to. I made a promise to my mom and the worst thing I can do is not killing myself but knowing that I broke my promise that I can’t take with to my grave.

Wow saying it out loud makes me question myself. So I worry not of death, but the disappointment I will leave my mom with that I did not keep my promise…

I don’t know what more to say that!

THINGS I HATE DOING!

I am a clean freak. Once I start cleaning there is no stopping me until I smell all cleaning products that I’ve been using. It depends if I’m cleaning the entire house it takes half of my day. It’s not just cleaning, its detailing I will go behind every corner of the house I will move the bed to get all the dirt underneath.

WHEN IT COMES TO…

LAUNDRY…I think this was a bad invention, I mean come on! Only must you wash, you must separate its like colors, wash in different temperatures, then fold once you’re done. Seriously who in their right mind have time for this? I mean this can take all day! There are better things to do you know…like watching twilight sagas over…and over…and over…or blog, or site and be lazy, stay on facebook, texting those are important things to do.

MAKING THE BED…really! What’s the point in this? You’re going to sleep in again in less than 24 hours. At least folding laundry as much time consuming it takes it might sit in the closet for a while. Making the bed what is that? The person who came up with this idea had neither LIFE nor anything better to do with their morning. Can you imagine if you have to be up at 8am, that means wake up at least 10 minutes before to make your bed? Do you know what you can do with 10minute? SLEEP! That’s extra ten minute to make your morning brighter…10min you can have the best morning SEX! It might take a little more than 10min I hope but it’s worth being late for. 10min you can eat breakfast, catch up with facebook, emails, I don’t know do something forth ten minute of your life!

VOICE MAIL…who has the time to listen to a stupid machine that tells you what people said when you didn’t pick up? That is why THERE IS A TEXT MESSAGING FEAUTER THAT COMES WITH THE PHONE!!! I look at it this way if what you have to tell me is so dam important than you’ll keep calling and calling until I pick up! I will respond on a text faster than I can return a phone call. If I could deal with businesses like Phone Company, credit card, Dr.’s office, and type of business through texting my life will be heaven. I HATE talking on the phone, your put on hold forever than your transfer somewhere else that you have to explain yourself all freaking over again AAAHHHHH.

OH…by the way this was supposed to be my folding cloth time but I figure I should put my time into better use. I’ll just throw these closes in the drawer who will know? And who really care cause I sure don’t.

DO HARD THINGS

BEYOND WHAT IS EXPECTED!

Church was AWESOME!!!

If you did not go to church today here are the words of GOD...."without faith is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him...” Hebrew 11

We have a four week worship that talks about DO HARD THINGS...today week one is about…GO BEYOND WHAT IS EXPECTED-II kings 4:8-37(pg361)

These were words of encouragement. Understanding it is not always about ourselves, but those around us and the strangers we come upon. It’s the smallest things that count. Example holding the door for someone, allowing the car next to you to get in front instead of speed ahead. Being grateful for the things we have, instead of complaining.

The pastor said use “I CAN instead of I cannot” go beyond what is expected of you. Your boss expects you to be at work at 8am, show up five or ten minutes early that is beyond your expectation. Great a stranger and ask about their day before you bypass them that is beyond your expectation. So I pray beyond my what is expected…

Our father in heaven hello be thy name…

I thank you for all you have done for me… I ask that you keep me in your circle, help and guide me restore my faith for I get lost into temptation for your names sake I ask point me toward the right direction.

Our father whom prepared a table before my enemies…

Let me not bring revenge up on them, but give me the strength to stand before them as a way of forgiveness.

Our father I pray for my Family…

I don’t show it as much as I should nor do I tell them how much I love them. So I ask you be with them and store your shield upon my family. For I do not know what I will do if they were not my back bone; I ask that my sister delivers a beautiful baby boy and mostly in your greatest health. I ask that you help my mother and father get through this financial difficulties; I pray for my two little brothers to grow under your wings for the world is a dangerous place to be. I ask that you keep my other sister safe and show all of us the right path to your kingdom in your names sake.

Our father I pray for my friends and for all around the world…

Thank you for the shining lights that you brought forth in the form of my friends. Thank you for leading me through a great family that welcomed me to their home and provided shelter for me. As they show me the path to your kingdom.

I pray for Josh, give him the strength to get better since his health is in question. I pray for a miracle that Raul won’t have to go to Afghanistan, but if that is his calling then please place him under your wings for protection and all the soldiers out there fighting for our country and our way of freedom and peace. Bless it be thy name.

Help us as a whole to get along with each other in this world. Walk among us day or night; sunny or rain. Be with us always as we dwell in your house for EVER!

AMEN!

With that being said in closing the pastor left us with this song…

ME & PUBLIC RESTROOM

Me/Public restroom

I only drink soymilk, silk, or almond milk. I ran out of it today at least one of my roommate drank the last glass. It’s morning and I’m hungry. There in the refrigerator lies 2% milk. I figure it’s not whole milk so it shouldn’t be bad, BIG MISTAKE! HUGE!

So there I got ready for work, in my car I’m driving about 3 miles away from home. My tummy started to make the popcorn noise. Have you ever passed gas that smelled so bad you wanted to run away from yourself? I experienced that today, twice to make it worse. I roll down the window that’s no help because it’s like 97degrees outside. All I’m getting is hot air; know I’m sweating and my car smell like the garbage, with no way to turn.

I made it to work. Things got worse, oh my the way my shift is 3p-11p. I clocked in 3p the day wasn’t so bright for me. I’m in pain, my tummy is hurting and I can’t stop blowing every area I passed.

Two hours later, I couldn’t pass gas anymore for I knew…if I let one out air goes poop all over myself. I’m walking with my bottom squeezed as if I was exercising. The pain was excruciating, I had to set myself free, but this is a long way to go before I can make it home.

Public restroom; this is me and public restroom. I only use it for number one, and before I do I clean the restrooms first, put sit covers like three of them then squat down not sitting on the toilet sit. That is me and public restrooms.

At home if I must go number two, I always jump in the shower afterward. Call me weird but that’s me. For some reason I feel like the odor follows me, and I feel dirty.

Its 7p, at this point I can’t even walk. My manager asked if something was the matter, I told him just a little cramp that’s all. Lies, lies, all lies… I have to take a dump that’s what the matter is.

Sometimes we must put aside our eagles and let life be…I learned that today, because I had to clean the sits place 5sit covers because at any giving point I would have the worst accident of my life.

FREEDOM!!!FREEDOM!!! I DONT CARE WHAT YOU SAY…

I felt better for the rest of my shift, but so uncomfortable because I couldn’t shower afterward.

WHAT A DAY! WHAT A DAY IT WAS TODAY!!!

JUNKY

To most people when you say junky, they think of drugs…that your drugged upsets. It could be medicines; legal or illegal, or the ones people buy in the streets. Lol would that be considered illegal? I don’t know, that goes by telling you how much I know about these types of junkies.

However, I am a JINKY myself…I am craze, and obsessed with Twilights; I cannot go a day without watching it. I am sure you can tell with my template, but I must make it clear, when I am upset twilights gets me through the day. New moon is ok but not a big fan of it because it was more about Jacob and I’m team EDWARD till the day my heart stops breathing, and maybe even then.

The funny thing is I don’t need to read the books to know what will happen. When I released the second part will be called new moon; think about when do werewolves come out and play? And Edward leaving it was about Jacob and Bella, with eclipse the moon covering the sun. day and night together at the same time. Vampires and werewolves together very simple…know that was great. I swear I have spent $80 dollars the few weeks it came out. I couldn’t get enough. I am so TEAM EDWARD; I missed work on the premier to see eclipse.

Breaking dawn, the final episode, I’m sure we all can assume. Edward and Bella will get together and have a baby, which will be half human, half vampire. When I told my sister my assumption she was shacked, because she’s one of those to read the book before watching the movie. What I have learned from the past. Those who read the book first are never into the movie as those who haven’t read it. Reading before watching you have your mind set on the outcome verses those who haven’t read the book are on the edge of the sit wondering what’s the outcome, what’s coming next? Is Bella a vampire now? Did she change her mind about Edward since her father kept bringing up Jacob? Lol as if that will happen

I remember counting my days for the eclipse that nobody could bring me down, because I had a reason for waking up every day. As sad as that might have sounded that is the problem with depression. One needs a reason to live, a reason to know that today is a better day. That today I’m waking up for something different. ADD is the adrenaline of the unknown, not knowing what’s happening before it happens makes your mind rush with excitements. Like a kid in a candy store and mom says pick whatever you want.

That is me only know waiting for braking dawn…

I have a reason to smile at work to the ignorant bliss people that judges me every day. To the person that never goes a day without saying something they believe to be negative with me because supposedly I am “OREO”

Twilight is my personal Brand of Heroin. THAT IS ONE OF MY FAVORIT QUOTES AS IF I NEED TO TELL YOU THAT LOL…

HEAVEN AND HELL

I believe there is a higher power, heaven and hell; wrong from right; love and hate; happiness and sadness; the richest and the poor. I found this…

_{IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE SUFFERING OF THOSE DAYS, THE SUN WILL BE DARKENED}

_{AND THE MOON WILL NOT GIVE ITS LIGHT, AND THE STARS WILL FALL FROM HEAVEN,}

_{AND THE POWERS OF THE HEAVENS WILL BE SHAKEN. AND THEN THE SIGN OF THE}

_{HUMAN-BORN ONE4 WILL APPEAR IN HEAVEN, AND THEN ALL THE TRIBES OF THE}

_{EARTH WILL LAMENT. AND THEY WILL SEE THE HUMAN-BORN ONE COMING IN}

_{THE CLOUDS OF HEAVEN WITH POWER AND GREAT GLORY. AND HE WILL SEND HIS}

_{ANGELS WITH A TRUMPET AND A LOUD VOICE, AND THEY WILL GATHER HIS CHOSEN}

_{ONES FROM THE FOUR WINDS, FROM ONE END OF THE HEAVENS ALL THE WAY TO}

_{THE OTHER END. (MATTHEW 24:29–31)}

I understand all that, what I don’t understand is when I question the word of “GOD” like everyone says I’m told I have no faith. We question everything in life, why can’t I question this? Think about it; you wouldn’t cross the street with your eyes close if one told you just have faith and believe. You question your boss, parents, friends, etc. but when it comes to the higher power of your belief all of a sudden you’re not allowed to question, such hypocrisy if you ask me.

mt belief is question so you may understand the virtual of reality and comprehend it in order to better understand and do Wright by it. You need to study in order to pass a test, read your chapters to answer questions when asked, complete your training to understand your job and position. It is not wrong to question what you don’t understand.