" I AM MY OWN PERSONAL BRAND OF HEROIN "

SOMETIMES I WONDERED IF I WAS SEEING THE SAME THINGS THROUGH MY EYES THAT THE REST OF THE WORLD WAS SEEING THROUGH THEIRS. MAYBE THERE WAS A GLITCH IN MY BRAIN.
I TRIED TO THINK OF A LOGICAL SOLUTION THAT COULD EXPLAIN WHAT I HAD JUST BEEN THROUGH — A SOLUTION THAT EXCLUDED THE ASSUMPTION THAT I WAS INSANE.
I AM NOT A MAGNET FOR ACCIDENTS — THAT’S NOT A BROAD ENOUGH CLASSIFICATION. I AM A MAGNET FOR TROUBLE. IF THERE IS ANYTHING DANGEROUS WITHIN A TEN-MILE RADIUS, IT WILL INVARIABLY FIND ME.
GOOD LUCK TENDED TO AVOID ME
THE ONLY GUESS I HAVE IS THAT MAYBE MY MIND DOESN’T WORK THE SAME WAY THE REST OF THE WORLD DO. LIKE MY THOUGHTS ARE ON THE AM FREQUENCY AND I’M ONLY GETTING FM
I’M THE WORLD’S WORST PREDATOR, AREN’T I? EVERYTHING ABOUT LIFE PUSHES ME AWAY — PEOPLE IN GENERAL, SADNESS, HATETRESS, DOING THE SAME THINGS JUST DIFFERENT DAYS. AS IF I NEED ANY OF THAT!
PEOPLE ARE PREDICTABLE. BUT ME… I NEVER DO WHAT’S EXPECTED OF ME.
I DON’T WANT TO SUFFER, OR EASILY BE FRUSTRATED. LIFE IS LITERALLY MY PERSONAL HELL ON EARTH.
I AM SO DEPRESSED BY LIFE THAT IT’S MADE ME SUICIDAL? IT WILL BE NICE IF I’D NEVER EXISTED
WOULD YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEANT IF I SAID I’M ONLY HUMAN?
I WISH YOU COULD FEEL THE… COMPLEXITY… THE CONFUSION… I FEEL. WOULD THAT MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND?
ABOUT THREE THINGS I WAS ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE. FIRST, I AM DEPRESS AND UNHAPPY. SECOND, THERE IS A PART OF ME— AND I DIDN’T KNOW HOW PERSUASIVE THAT PART MIGHT BE — THAT THIRSTED FOR COMMITTING SUICIDE. AND THIRD, I WAS UNCONDITIONALLY AND IRREVOCABLY IN LOVE WITH THE THOUGHT OF DYING.
I’M NOT THE MOST DANGEROUS THING OUT THERE. LET’S LEAVE IT AT THAT.
I’D RATHER KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING — EVEN IF WHAT YOU’RE THINKING IS INSANE. YOUR COMMENTS ARE IMPORTANT TO ME SO LEAVE SOMETHING…
Before I start the present, we must go back to the past. A highlight of my life…
I see a therapist once a week, psychiatrists once a month for refills and see how things are going. I go through ups and downs with my depression, this time it was different. I’m not saying it changed my life. Every now and then I want it over with already. I AM TIRED and WANT IT TO GO AWAY!
My name is Ly’Lla pronounced Lila. I’m 28; suffer from depression, bipolar disorder, and adult deficiency disorder, lol what a great life I have. Here is my life story…

Monday, August 23, 2010

I WANNA BE A BILLIONAIRE (REMIX)

I wanna be a billionaire so fricking bad, take vacations to places I've never been I wanna be on the cover of playboy magazine so I can be invited to all the cool parties And every time I open my eyes I'll have all things that money can buy No need for a car, I'll be flying on my jet oh oooh I love how my jet looks


As you can see its 4:00 in the morning, I have nothing better to do right know.
So I decided to change the words to this song, maybe I should call it the remix
would that make it my original song, would it make me a billionaire oh oooh will it make a billionaire

Than I quite my stupid job, with ignorant customers, never worry about money at all
people say the more money the more problems, I think that is so stupid.
The more money you have, you should change your life style find people on the same level as you, than you won’t become their piggy bank

I wanna be a billionaire so fricking bad, take vacations to places I've never been I wanna be on the cover of playboy magazine so I can be invited to all the cool parties And every time I open my eyes I'll have all things that money can buy No need for a car, I'll be flying on my jet oh oooh I love how my jet looks

I ran out of words so this is the end, I don't want to sound stupid at all
Maybe I'll re-watch twilights eclipse, since I'm so crazy about Edward
Oh, every time I see his face, I melt like a Popsicle, dripping flavor everywhere oh oooh
I wish I was his Bella oh oooh oh oooh, then I won’t be so board oh oooh oh oooh this is truly sad

I wanna be a billionaire so fricking bad, taking vacations to places I've never been
I wanna be on the cover of playboy magazine so I can be invited to all the cool parties
And every time I open my eyes I'll have all things that money can buy
No need for a car, I'll be flying on my jet oh oooh I love how my jet looks

2 comments:

scribbling sassy said...

yesz! you outta be rich girl, you can definitely swag it! I mean, it wouldn't be so bad to have more money as long as you know yourself well and you'd share some with your family and friends (eherrmmm, bloggie friends included? :D) and some charity, i think you'll be alright! So I'll wish you just that!

take care,
sassy!

Safia said...

I agree with Sassy. You would rock the billionaire lifestyle!!
And why shouldn't you be one?
Billionairess Ly'lla sounds perfect to me!
And, then, when I'm a billionairess, too, we can argue over whose jet to take & what island we'd be going to and when. :~D
You're awesome & I hope you get to make your dreams come true.