LIFE AFTER DEATH II...

A knock on my door…a nurse walked in, good morning Ly’Lla…how are you? Fine. Good, you look better and we monitored you all night things went well. Today we are going to release you to another hospital were there going to help you further. Ok I got dressed, couple of ladies where waiting for me outside. As we got to the van, there were two other people in the car with me. This one guy was mad…talking to himself, how they were coming to get us all. They are going to kill us all. Two guards hold him down and hand cuffed him.

The drive was long and boring, with the madness guys who wouldn’t shut up. We arrived…they took me to a lobby to check in; I had all these papers to fill out. Pretty much looked like admitting paper works. They took me to another room where I had to wait for three hours…what a dump place is this? I noticed a lot of crazy people…most talking to themselves. Some are strapped down. HMF- (holy mother f***), they send me to the craze place. I was sent to a psych ward…seriously! Seriously! This is madness.

What’s this life after death chamber to decide if I should go to hell, heaven, or back on earth? I am not crazy; finally they gave me a room, before I can go in I had to latterly strip down. I had to remove my belt, shoe laces; I asked why I had to give my shoe laces away? In case I wanted to kill myself she responded. Wow! A shoe lace is going to hold me up as I hang myself why haven’t I thought about this before? I literally had a smirk on my face; these people are absolutely nutter than I am. They need help not me. I also had to give up my phone which by the way the battery died so it was no used to me…just great!

I was showed to my room, where I had to share with someone else. It was Saturday, and the doctor I was assigned too, wouldn’t be available until Monday…you have got to be kidding me. I put my coat over the pillow and went to sleep. I was later asked if I want dinner, no thank you. I went back to sleep, later a psych showed up wonted to talk to me…that’s ok I really don’t want to talk to you, I don’t know you and your name doesn’t mean squat to me dude. But then again I have seen plenty of movies like this if you don’t cooperate with them they’ll probably have me lucked in some chamber, giving me crazy medications that I didn’t need. Ok I responded under my breath.

Tell me exactly what happened. So I explained to her the whole nine yard; over dose, drank, cut my wrist bla…bla..bla..at this point I was tired of repeating the same things over again. I mean I explained to the officer at my house, the nurses and doctor at the hospital they took me too. Here about three times already. They all seem to have my chart in their dag on hand, yet I’m being asked …what the heck they can’t read? I need a recorder so every time someone asked I’ll play the tape like a hit song. Don’t you think it was dangerous?

Apparently not, I’m still here breathing the air that I hate, dealing with people who asks stupid question even if the answer is right in front of them. It wasn’t dangerous; because I still have to go throw life smiling to the people I really don’t give a crap for. I have to listen to people complain about their life. Apologize to a customer who wanted something that the store didn’t have or their unsatisfaction of the service they received; all this while looking sympatric and friendly, to lie so they can be happy, fake a smile so the world can believe that my world is peachy like the freakin’ rainbow. It wasn’t dangerous enough.

Yes it was dangerous; I don’t know what I was thinking. Sure won’t happen again. That’s good to hear and I’m here to help in anyways that I can. Really? Can I have a gun point to my heart, so it can stop beating I’m sure it’s less painful than the head, because my heart will still be beating. I put another fake smile on my face…thank you so much for your help. Your welcome she left the room.

AAAhhhh are you kidding me seriously! Seriously as I look up, this is what I get as a result for dying? Is this fun for you? See me live in misery…I’m sure there is someone dying right know that doesn’t want to die. Switch our places please; I have nothing to gain nor anything to lose. I don’t belong in this world, this life, I just don’t fit in. I never fitted anywhere I lived or went.

I have always felt like the outsider, like the girl in the locker room changing cloth and mean girls takes them all my away as they push me naked in the gym and clock the door behind me. While everybody laughs, pointing at me, even through stuff at me. That is how I feel everyday when I wake up, so why do you want me to go through that. I cry….I cry all night…until there was a knock on my door
To be continued…