HERPES...

This happened before me trying to kill myself…

I dated this one guy for about a year, a few years after moving to Georgia 2004, who had a kid with another woman. Apparently “they were not together.” We used to live in the same apartment property, until he bought a house and moved. A year later I was calling him on his cell phone, and he wouldn't pick up. Normally, I’ll leave it at that and have him call me when he can. For some reason; I decided to call his house phone mind you, I’ve had this number forever but never called him. The day I decided to call.

A woman answered the phone. I am not one to question people because I don’t know what’s going on, and I am polite to great unfamiliar voice as I ask to speak to the person I called for. She answered hello! Hi may I please speak to D (let’s call him D since his name started with D). his not here my I ask whose calling? Yes this is Ly’Lla. How do you know D? Ah I’m his girlfriend… His who? Girlfriend, I replied again. How long have you guys been together? Ah…what’s going on with all these third degree questions? I’m trying to figure out how is it that you’re his girlfriend and I’m engaged to him.

What? Yeah we’ve been together for four years and I have a son with him. I know about the son, I thought you guys broke up before your child was even born. I asked her where she stays…we live together why? I was left speechless are you kidding me! He brought me in a house that you two live together in. I was pissed, she was pissed. We talked she told me how he had done this before cheated on her. So why are you still with him? I can’t leave him… nobody will want to be with me. What do you mean by that? He didn't tell you! He has herpes and gave it to me.

I had a heart attack; I slowly slide down the wall to the floor, as I see my life flash before my eyes. I had tears falling down but I wasn’t crying. I told her to hold on, that I was going to call him on three ways and I didn’t want her to say anything. I called twice before he picked up. What’s up baby? Not much how’s work…same old same. Hi D I have a question…what’s up. Are you still with your baby mama don’t lie to me.

Where is all this coming from? You didn’t answer my question. No we’re not together. How many times do you want me to tell you? I just want to make sure, another thing do you have herpes? Woman what’s wrong with you I don’t have that sh***. Really! Are you sure because your fiancé is saying otherwise, what fiancé? The one on the other line, She finally spoke…went off on him, he had nothing to say. I told him just in case you don’t get it we are done and if I find out I have herpes. I will sue you for everything that you have for ruining my life. I can’t believe at times you wanted to be unprotected bastard! I hope you have a good lawyer and I hung up. I picked up the phone book looking for a clinic, I was shaking like there was no tomorrow. I called like 5 of them since it was Friday I had to wait until Monday.

Do you have any idea how insane that was? I did not sleep, the whole night; I had to be at work the next day. Should I call in or stay home? If I stay I will be thinking about this all day, let me go to work. That didn’t help either. I was so out of it. My best friend asked me what was wrong. My life is over Nikky so…over! What happened? I told her, she looked at me and said trust me you don’t have it because if you did, you will know before a doctor can even tell you.

How do you know? She was quite for a while then she spilled the beans. My mouth dropped in amazement. Nikky how is it that you’ve never told me this? It’s not something that I’m proud of I made one stupid decision and this is what I got out of it for the rest of my life. But I’m your friend you don’t trust me what is it? I didn't want you to look at me differently. Under the circumstance, I am in no place of judging. Trust me Ly’Lla you don’t have it, it hurt when you pee, it’s very discomforting, and that didn’t settle me down. I need Monday to come ASAP!

It seems like ten years before Monday could arrive. I was up 6:30 am getting ready hiding to the clinic. I got there spoke to the doctor, they took blood, than informed me I had to wait about two weeks. Are you kidding me! As if waiting for Monday wasn’t painful and stressful enough, I have to wait to freakin weeks.
I didn’t have to wait that long, maybe a week of suffering. I don’t know if it was paranoia, I swear, when I went to the bathroom I felt a little discomfort, I felt achy in public. This made my waiting seem like eternity. I went to the doctor, you know the doctor’s office is never comfortable to begin with and waiting for news is the worst. I was sitting taping my foot, than I stood up pacing back and forth my arm fold to my chest.

I heard my name, and I froze. My feet became so heavy I couldn’t put one foot in front of the other. I room turned black my chest was flying out of cloth. They called my name again; I was able to move one foot and stumbled my way to the door. The nurse holds my hand asked if I was ok. I couldn’t speak. You have to go through these check up process before seeing a doctor, my blood pressure was 170 over 140.
I set there waiting, tapping my foot, I was sweating and it was winter time. The doctor finally walked in. how are you she called me by my last name, I’m dying, she pulled her chair set close to me, she had brochures on her hand. This is not good, when she said we got your results, I pour, I mean pour like a sprinkler. She was talking about some safety things I cut her off please put me out of my misery and say it out loud crying.

She touched my knee, I started hyperventilating. Ms… by my last name it’s not bad news, you don’t have herpes. I started crying even louder I’m going to kill him. I can’t believe he gave me herpes. No you miss understood me you don’t have herpes. Really! Really this is my life here don’t play with me. She showed me the results, I hugged her you have no idea.

She gave me the long speak of safety. I play the safe cards all the time but accidents do happens, I was one of the lucky one. I was happy I drove home full of joy AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

This goes by telling you safety is a way of life. Yeah your boyfriend…or girlfriend tells you how much he loves you and want to go bear. That is not love that is someone who doesn’t care for you. Who was burn by someone and know want to pass the disease around the world. It is always best to go get test every six month with your partner. If you don’t have insurance, no problems free clinics are there to help. Use all your sources, to keep yourself safe!